Confessions of a Sugarholic

Hello there! It's been six months since my last blog post, so I suppose it's time to let you all know what I've been up to. My goals I set for myself are still steady, and I hope by the end of the year that I've accomplished them. I'm pretty confident that I can reach them although I've been sidelined for a bit, and I haven't had the opportunity to work out as I'd like. Let me explain. As most of you know, I've been on a weight loss journey of the ages. My highest recorded weight was 361 pound circa 2006 - around the time I was in grad school. Things were quite bleak, stressful and lonely. Not to mention all the health issues I had. So I lost weight on a doctor supervised Protein Sparing Modified Fast - now popularly called Ketogenetic diet - it worked, and I got down to 220's, but it didn't stick unfortunately. At that point, I pursued weight loss surgery, and my insurance approved me for a gastric by-pass, but I wasn't sure a...

Hello everyone! I can't believe another week has passed so quickly. Thanksgiving is behind us and we're now into the holiday season. Lots of parties, events and gatherings, which also means more food. Food is everywhere. I'm even guilty of it because my hubby and I will be making cookie tins this weekend. Will I be able to stay away? Probably not. I'm sure I'll indulge in one oatmeal raisin walnut cookie. Matilda always makes sure to halt me at one, but I always think of the day when one won't be enough. It worries me. After the epic Thanksgiving that resulted in hello-crazy weight loss - my largest weight loss week to date - I've been feeling differently. As a weight loss surgery patient, in the back of my mind there is this thought that maybe I'd never be small. I guess it's hard to shake those body image issues that tend to stick no matter how much I've lost. But this week, I've been thinking that I will be that smaller person. It's ...

Hello everyone! I'm heading into week 16... Wow! I'm still trying to wrap my head around how quickly the time is passing. When I was in the pre-surgical program, I was grateful for the time I had to prepare myself for life after surgery. Now that I'm in the thick of it, I'm happy with my progress so far. Matilda and I are getting along great. Sure, she makes weird noises often, but I appreciate every noise, every twitch, every warning. I listen to her when she's telling me she's had enough or she doesn't like something... And especially when she loves something. It's hard to stop eating when you're enjoying your food, but I do. I do stop. I think that's what make me so content. I feel like I am doing well managing my portions and impulses. This past week, I had another NSV or Non-scale Victory. On Friday, I checked in with my Primary Doctor for a blood pressure check. My blood pressure has been on the low side, and I told him that I've be...

Happy Monday, Readers. It's definitely been a week of developments. All week, my stall has been in the back of my mind nagging slightly, but not discouraging me. If anything, it was nagging me to work harder and not quit. I was very determined this week, and I also started my new weight training plan for the next five weeks.  There was some hella sweat and pain this week. I was tired, and I was suffering from muscle fatigue - which can be a good thing. Muscles break down when stressed, and repair themselves, which makes you stronger. Friday, my leg day, incorporated and additional set of squats and lunges. So now I do wide stance and close stance on squats and walking lunges and side lunges. I thought nothing of the side lunges since they appeared to be quite innocent. My butt and legs are still sore...three days later! My interval running has also improved. I notice that my heart rate isn't as high as it was when running intervals at 4 mph - which means my endurance is i...

Hey everyone! I know it's been a few weeks since I updated. During that time, I hit my three post-op milestone. I didn't have any doctor appointments or anything, but I have been trying different foods and textures. Some agree with me... and some don't. Matilda is still in control and she still runs the slow. I still feel restriction, and I'm eating a constant 800-1000 calories a day and eating four small meals. It seems to be working well. My appetite isn't out of control - even with my workout schedule, and I eat about every 3 hours or so. Hi Matilda! I have my surgery date and tummy name on the back. Speaking of Matilda, my tummy arrived about a week ago. My tummy pillow is a nice reminder of my surgery. She's cute and squishy. I also can toss her around if her namesake is acting up a bit. If any of your are curious as to where she came from, let me know, and I'll give you the deets. The dark blue portion of the pillow is pretty true. My stomac...

Hello my lovely Readers! Week 10 is here, and I'm feeling a bit conflicted. It's so easy for me help others who may have questions or are curious about my experiences, and I try to encourage them as much as I can.  So...why is it so hard for me to follow my own advice? Matilda and I drown our sorrows in H2O! When I last left you, I was disheartened by a high blood pressure reading at my two month post-op appointment. Wishful thinking I hoped it was due to me running up two flights of stairs to get to the office, but when I went to my Primary Doc appointment on Friday, it was not the case. My blood pressure is high. The one medication I'm taking isn't enough, and my PCP (Primary Care Physician) placed me back on my second blood pressure med that I hadn't taken since my pre-op liquid diet. I just knew that when I went to my PCP, he was going to take me off of my blood pressure and high cholesterol medication - I mean after all, he already took me off my diabe...

I promise I don't wear a skirt when I lift.  Matilda does tho...  Hello everyone! I had a very decent week. I'm officially eight weeks from VSG surgery and I'm feeling pretty normal - other than Matilda Gertrude taking to me all hours of the day or night. She's quite the chatty gal. Today also begins the last stage of my dietary progression. At this point, I can should be able to tolerate most foods - keeping note of those that may give me trouble. Right now, I am still avoiding fruits with skins, raw vegetables, breads, pasta, rice, corn and steak. I haven't had much trouble with any food I've tried so far. I even introduce nuts this past week, and it was great. I'm so happy I can still eat nuts because I do enjoy them as part of my diet. Regarding my weight stall.... I've been keeping the faith that I didn't break Matilda. She still has hella restriction, and although I may attempt to put more food on my plate because she said she's ...

Hello my lovely readers, and Happy Labor Day for those of you who reside in the United States. I hope you take advantage of the time off to do something you enjoy. For those of us who live in northwest Pennsylvania/northeast Ohio, it's a lovely day. I started my day with some activity.  I did some weight training - I bought 2 ten pound dumbbells and some resistance bands and put those to good use. I also swung my 20 pound kettlebell - single arm swings, snatches, squats and full American swings. I'll admit I was curious/concerned how my incision sites would react. I have one incision that goes quite deep and there were some internal stitches that may take 8-10 weeks to fully heal, but I was given the green light to start weights at 6 weeks.  It's been 7 weeks now, and no pain anywhere. I'm quite pleased with that so I'll make sure to incorporate more weights 3x a week for about 30 minutes along with my other cardio. So, how is Matilda doing? She's great. ...

Hello Readers! I'm sorry for the late post. This last week did not go as I hoped. That's what happens in life. Murphy's Law does exist, and my personal motto has already been "Life is how you handle Plan B." I definitely feel like I'm in Plan B mode, and I'm going to handle it like a boss. I'm finally in week six, and this week I'm allowed to go back to the gym and I can start with light weights. Sadly, I only worked out one day, and I did Zumba. I did great, but I didn't have the opportunity to do more than the one day. I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't make more of an effort to go, and based on what happened later in the week and yesterday, I think I have bigger fish to fry than getting 3-5 days of activity in at this point. My 41st birthday was Sunday, and overall I had a good birthday. I spent time with family and friends, which is how I like to celebrate. I didn't eat much. Had the opportunity to eat cake, ha...

"Girl! Do yo thang! I gotchu!" -Matilda Hello again! Matilda sends her regards. She's going quite well five weeks out. Time is certainly flying by, and it's also time to advance my diet to stage 3 - Soft foods, and it's just like it's described. Foods soft in texture. Avoid fruits and vegetables with skin along with raw vegetables.  Today I'm planning on having some salmon and broccoli. Wow, sounds exciting right? Well, I'm totally pumped because I haven't had anything but liquids and pureed foods for about 6 weeks so we are definitely ready. Matilda and I certainly has quite an eventful week. We went to a Bruno Mars concert - which I was a bit nervous about. We also went out to dinner with family and did a 3K walk. So, lets debrief. I've been waiting for this concert since January when I got the tickets. I went with my hubby and my parents - my mom is a quite a fan as well. I was a bit apprehensive because the last time I was enjoying ...

Happy New Year everyone.  I hope you had a very safe and happy holiday season.  I am very happy the holidays are over.  No more cookies.  No more candy.  No more crazy eating.  I'll admit that after my last blog post, I really watched myself.  I knew what I was going into, and I'd already sabotaged a good portion of my success in 2013.  I'm already starting 2014 going uphill so no need to make things worse by going food crazy. I'm happy to report that I haven't eaten any candy since my meltdown in December.  I figured that I need to start slow by getting rid off my sugar demons so I let the candy go, but I didn't eliminate all sweets and I had dessert here and there.  This past week, I only had one dessert.  This week I plan on having no dessert.  So far, I'm doing okay.  I'm taking it one day at a time.   I started tracking again using MyPlate on New Year's Day, which is the Livestrong app that I used so well ...

 It feels good to let my finger do the talking once again.  Hey readers.  I sure did take a leave of absence, didn't I?  I also feel I lost myself in the process.  After my mid-week meltdown, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection thinking about where I derailed.  It wasn't any event or circumstance that caused it.  It's really just plain old complacency and laziness, with a dash of arrogance.   Complacent. Webster defines complacent as "satisfied with how things are and not wanting to change them."  I'd say that was true.  I remember saying to myself over the last few months, "I'd be happy if I stay just how I am right now."  I don't think I truly believed that, but that was what I was telling myself.   Lazy, defined as "disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous."  I'd agree with that.  Sure, I still worked out more days during the week than not, but sometimes I wasn't feeling ...

Finish line... early before the race. Hey readers!  I'm actually surprised I'm doing this right now.  I thought I wouldn't have the energy to hold my head up, but it seems I've caught my second wind so I might as well get my thoughts down while they are still fresh in my head. Today was a big day for me.  A day that I thought would never come for me - considering where I was about a year and a half ago.  I did something I thought I'd never be able to do.  I completed a half marathon. I'm honestly having trouble putting words to my feelings right now.  I knew this day was coming.  I remember back on January 11th, when my trainer and workout partner convinced me to change my race registration from the 10K to the half.  At that time, I wasn't sure I would be able to do it.  Then, when I started training in February, I had the idea that I'd be able to finish under 2 hours 50 minutes.  Today, my goal was to finish under 3 hours. ...