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The Struggle Is Real!

Hello Readers! I'm sorry for the late post. This last week did not go as I hoped. That's what happens in life. Murphy's Law does exist, and my personal motto has already been "Life is how you handle Plan B." I definitely feel like I'm in Plan B mode, and I'm going to handle it like a boss.

I'm finally in week six, and this week I'm allowed to go back to the gym and I can start with light weights. Sadly, I only worked out one day, and I did Zumba. I did great, but I didn't have the opportunity to do more than the one day. I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't make more of an effort to go, and based on what happened later in the week and yesterday, I think I have bigger fish to fry than getting 3-5 days of activity in at this point.

My 41st birthday was Sunday, and overall I had a good birthday. I spent time with family and friends, which is how I like to celebrate. I didn't eat much. Had the opportunity to eat cake, had a smidgen of a bite, and didn't like it so I gave it to my husband. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. I don't like cake. Matilda was like "Uh-uh!" It just doesn't taste the same. I wonder if it's more of a mental thing. I hope it means I'm fully embracing my new lifestyle. When I do crave something sweet, I have two Gerber Arrowroot Cookies. Low in carbs and sugar, it's the perfect treat. Plus, they are easy to eat and Matilda enjoys them very much.

So, back to my Struggle. I'm in the soft diet food stage. According to my dietary guidelines provided by my nutritionist and surgeon, I should be eating between 800-1200 calories a day and getting in 60-80 grams of protein, along with 48-64 ounces of fluid. I'm really having trouble getting everything in. If I focus on getting my calories and protein in, I fall short on my fluids. If I focus on fluids, I only eat two meals a day. It's starting to take it's toll because I've hit it.... THE STALL!

Weight loss stalls happen. I was expecting it a lot soon than now. Most patients hit their stall around week three... where the scale just won't move. I've had stalls before, and they can definitely be discouraging. This one, not so much. I'm very careful not to use the scale as my ONLY measurement tool because it's deceptive. I actually gained 2 pounds over the last week, but we all know there is no way I could have eaten enough to gain two pounds. But, lacking proper nutrition can reek havoc on the body, and that's now my focus. Proper nutrition.

I need to find a way to hit my protein and fluid goals. 48 ounces is not enough water for me. My body runs best when I can get my fluid in the upper 60's to 70 ounces a day. Right now, I'm skating by on around 48 ounces, and I'm feeling it. This week I plan to be more diligent with my drinking. It's difficult because I can't drink 30 minutes before or after each meal, and if each meal take 15-30 minutes, that's 90 minutes of not drinking 3-4 times a day. It adds up.

What happened yesterday hit home and showed me that I really need to try harder to reach my nutrition goals. I had to get blood work done for my next post-surgery appointment. A full blood work up - vitamins, minerals, protein, sugar - will all be measured. I usually go to ACL/Quest to get my blood work done because it's a walk in clinic, and it's pretty quick. Yesterday, they pissed me off by making me wait almost an hour because someone skipped over my name (yeah, right!). Then, one I got called back, the girl said she needed a break because she had morning sickness and was afraid of needles. Excuse me, but what the ever flubbing flub!! You in the wrong job sweetheart. So, she pokes me twice. No luck. Then another old broad tries and she's bending my arm all back and forth, and I

said "STOP! I'm out of here!" I was almost in tears by the time I left because I get hella anxiety when I get blood drawn because I've had some awful experiences. I had my first panic attack in March when I got my upper endoscopy done in March because they couldn't get the IV in.

Matilda wants a do-over!
So, I has to go to the hospital to get my blood drawn. It took three different ladies, four more picks,  three hours and 4 warmers to finally get ELEVEN vials of blood. By then, I was shaking because my blood sugar had dropped so low. I eventually made it home, cold and shaky and just pretty much passed out for the rest of the day.

My blood work results just reinforced what I knew to be true. Protein low. Iron low. Sugar too low, but A1C was great. Diabetes is in full remission.

Weight loss surgery is no joke, and it's not for everyone, but it is for me. Struggling is just another method of growth. Matilda is still brand new. She's unsure, just like I am, but somehow both of us need to find a way to make sure we feed our body what it needs to be strong. Time for Plan B. I'll let you know next week how it goes. Until then...

HW: 361 (circa 2006)
SW: 278
CW: 256
GW: 160 (?)
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