Saturday, March 31, 2012

Things Are Never As Bad As They Seem...

I hate having a case of
the Mondays....that lasts
 all week!
Hey Blog Readers!  I'm sending a special shout out to all of my international readers.  They are actually some people reading from Malaysia and Russia!  How awesome!  So, feel free to add comments.  I'd love to hear from you - actually...I'd love to hear from all of my readers.  Knowing that you are out there rooting for me (I hope you are) makes me feel fantastic.  And considering how this week went, any bit of good news and encouragement is welcome.

I'm not a complainer.  I never have been.  If there is something I don't like about myself or a situation I'm in, I try my best to change it.  I don't really like burdening people with my problems.  But every now and then something happens and I have to let my frustrations out.  So, I appreciate those who lent their ears to me this week.  Thank you so much for listening me to this week, and letting me vent.  It makes me feel a lot better.  You also know you're free to bend my ear whenever you want.  I'm a good listener.

The week was hella-tough.  Lots of stuff happening at the same time.  My stress level was elevated - and that's putting it mildly.  It's hard to know what to do when you feel like you're being pulled in many different directions.  So, how did I handle it?  How did I handle the first stressful week in my journey?

Before I get to how I handled it, I want to share a story with you.  It's a tough story for me to tell because it's private and shameful.  But, it also helps me to share it.  It helps me heal and I reflected a lot on this story this past week, and it made me realize how far I've come.

When I was finishing up my Master's degree back in early 2006, I was enrolled in two very tough classes.  One was a high level finance course and the other was my capstone class.  Both were highly challenging, and I wanted to excel in both of them.  That MBA was so close.  I just needed to get through these two classes - the hardest classes I've ever taken in my life.  No joke!

One weekend I was all alone.  Staring at these books for my class and all of my homework.  Research for my group presentation....70-80 pages I had to write by Monday.  Endless finance problems.  No solutions.  I felt completely isolated.  My mind was mush, and I didn't know what to do.  I'm not a complainer so didn't want to call someone to vent or cry.  I was just staring at my kitchen table full of papers and books with no clue what to do or where to start. 

So what did I do?  I got up.  Left my apartment.  I went Giant Eagle (a grocery store) and purchased a loaf of Schwebel's potato bread, a box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, and a 2 liter Pepsi.  Then, I drove to the local Kentucky Fried Chicken and purchased a bucket of fried chicken.  I drove home, brought my purchases inside and proceeded to eat and drink it all. 

When I ate the bread and chicken and cakes, it felt so good going down.  But as soon as I swallowed, the emptiness returned along with the stress.  So I continued to eat and drink to make that feeling of helpless go away, which it never did.  I sat there and ate until I was comatose, and I couldn't feel anything but pain.  That's how I handled stress.  I ate until I couldn't feel it anymore.

So, what did I do this week to handle all the SHIT that was thrown at me?  I hit the elliptical hard.  I hit the treadmill hard.  I let my mind clear and just concentrated on the exercise and how I it made me feel.  I danced in Zumba class.  I let the music move me...making me smile.  I didn't eat to mask the stress.  I just exercised, cleared my mind, and moved on.  Exercise helped me keep calm and move on.  I didn't overeat.  As a matter of fact, I ate out quite a bit this week.  I had lunch meetings and I made amazing choices at both Panera and Q'doba.  I made sure to have balanced meals and drank plenty of water.  And it payed off with my third best week to date.

My endorphins were working
overtime this week!
It makes me feel great that I was able to handle my stress with a healthy mind set.  I've come a long way.  That's what was on my mind this week, and I'm able to conclude this week #9 with a smile on my face.  This week wasn't Stronger Than Me.  I made this week my BITCH!  But...I couldn't have done it without all of you.  You'll never understand how much your support is appreciated.