Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Tale of Two Moods...

Happy Weekend Readers!  I hope everyone had a productive week.  As for me, I'm not quite sure how this week went.  I felt like I was two people this week.  I don't know if it was due to the monstrous achievement I had last week or perhaps it's due to a certain monthly visitor.  All I know is that I struggled all week with something I have not had too much of a problem with so far in this journey.  Usually I'm fighting with Doubting Thomas and his cousin Murphy on my workouts.  I'll admit I haven't had to much trouble with them lately. I've pretty happy with my workout choices, and I'm good at keeping things fresh and challenging myself so they have been absent for the most part. 

What I had problems with this week was my appetite. And, it's so strange.  I found myself hungry at odd moments when I'm usually not.  I have an eating schedule to make sure that I'm feeding myself every few hours to keep hunger in check and my metabolism roaring.  My calorie allowance didn't change much from last week to this week - even with the 5 pound loss.  So, why was I so hungry?  Why was I craving crazy foods?

I honestly don't know the answer to that question.  What I do know is that I fought it as hard as I could.  I worked out hard and tried to keep myself busy.  I increased my resistance workouts this week gearing up for my Kettlebell class that starts next week.  The Kettlebell instructor is the same person that leads my Metabolic Conditioning class, and she is no joke.  My burbees, push ups, and sit ups are improving, and I'm working on a new Jillian DVD.

So, to see an weight increase of 0.8 pounds this week really didn't bother me all that much.  I'm just glad I made it through this week.  I'm keeping my promise and not letting the scale bother or dictate my success or failure for the week.  Especially considering how my clothes feel.  My success this week - knowing I didn't cave to my hunger and cravings and fitting into a size 16 Calvin Klein black dress.  Now, that is SUCCESS.

Thinking back on it all, I'm glad I have these struggles.  I need these challenges. I need to have these internal discussions with myself.  Do I eat what I crave?  Or, should I eat the healthy meal that I packed in my lunch?  Should I pig out on candy or eat the fruit?  Should I eat the huge serving on Chinese food or the balanced meal of baked chicken and vegetables?  I will always have these internal discussions considering my past relationship with food.  They will always be there no matter what happens.  I'll always have to battle with myself to make sure I make the most wise and healthy choices.  In the end, I must be satisfied with the choices I've made, Settle Down, and work it out.


P.S. - There is still time to donate to Step Out for Diabetes.  The walk is next Saturday!  Thanks!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Happy Fall Everyone!  I have to admit I'm supercharged this morning, and there are several reasons why.  First, we are entering my favorite season of the year. I love Fall.  I love the colors.  My favorite holidays are in fall (Halloween and Thanksgiving).  I love the cool temperatures and the clothes.  I love all the fun activities.  Fall is just a time for getting comfy.  To celebrate fall, I've decided to have a spot of tea while writing the blog.  I'm all in the spirit today.  Got London on the mind hence the tea.  It's not Earl Grey or Twinnings, but it'll do.

As for the other reason... I've hit a rather important milestone today.  It's been on my heals teasing me for well over a month, and we've been dancing around each other like we're partners in the Tango.  Well, I finally tackled it this week, and believe me, it was a pain-infested, brutal, no-holds bared battle to the finish, and I won!  That's right.  100.4 POUNDS DOWN!  GONE!  VANISHED!

It wasn't easy either.  I started the week off good, but on Tuesday I got a pneumonia shot when I went for a check up with my doctor (more on that visit later).  It's a muscle shot so I got it in my right arm.  It didn't hurt.  No big deal.  Well, that same day I went to Dick's Sporting Goods to buy a 20 lb Kettlebell.  I need to increase the weight because some of my workouts that work big muscle groups were getting too easy.  I needed to step it up.

That evening I did Jillian's Kettlebells, and I started her 30 day Shed video.  Could finish it. HOLEY COW!  Those two workouts will never be combined.  I was tired and sore.  My right arm was aching.  The next morning, I'm stiff. My right arm is throbbing, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to workout.  I decided to hit the elliptical since it would leave my arm alone.  I'm a bit sad about skipping Metabolic Conditioning...until my two great friends come in the gym while I've been on the elliptical for almost 30 minutes.  So, I take a quick mental body check.  I'm feeling warmed up.  I can move my arm.  Let's do this.

And I did.  Metabolic Condition in like a cross fit class.  Google Cross Fit if you're curious.  I did four circuits of 15 lunges with a weighted bar, 30 Kettlebell swings (she ended up giving me a 30 lb Kettlebell), and 15 jumps on a riser (think step aerobics).  Ended the day with slight fever and body aches. 

It took all week for my arm to get back to normal.  I still worked out...just no weights.  Stiff muscles in my neck and shoulders were pretty intense.  But I muddled through.

So, how do I feel this week?  Well, my moodie for the week should explain it.  I'm ecstatic.  I feel accomplished.  I feel ready to tackle the next 100 (maybe...we'll see).  I feel I've got a really good handle on my eating habits.  I notice that when I go out for meals, I make really conscious choices.  I into consideration my portion sizes.  I split my meals in half.  I offer to share with others.  For example, my family went for Chinese last night for dinner, and I had a great time.  I had General Chicken but I decided to go with brown rice instead of fried or white rice.  I left the soy sauce alone and avoided the extra sauce that was on the chicken.  I still enjoyed it, but I knew that the decisions I made were good ones.  I've come a long way.

So, what's next?  Keeping Calm...Moving On sums it up.  I'm over my mid-way point.  I have 85 pounds to go to reach 160, and I still work on getting rid of the meds.  My doc says I'm doing great.  I'm doing so well that I don't have to see him until next year in March (SIX MONTHS!).  At that appointment, I'll talk to him about what can be done to get rid of these meds.  To me, that seems to be the more challenging task...especially the blood pressure pill and diabetes med.  But I'm determined.  I don't want to take any medicine.  I want to be able to manage my health with diet and exercise.

Now for some FUN!  I have decided to reward myself for this achievement... AND it's not Tiffany related (SHOCKER!)  What is it?  Stay tuned.  I'm keeping this one to myself because most won't understand or will probably think it's stupid.  I could care less.  I've coveted this item for a very long time, and I decided to reward myself.  When it arrives, I'll post it.  I like being mysterious.

Some more FUN... One of my very dear friends and supporters challenged me to lose 100 pounds by October 9th this past Monday.  She said that she'd wear one of my blog t-shirts twice a week for a month if I did.  G, get online and order that tee.  :)  I hope it doesn't get too stinky!

Before I sign off on this epic post, I want to thank all of you...all of my family, friends, and readers who I don't know.  I appreciate all of your kind words and thoughts.  You help me stay focused.  You keep my eye on the big prize... a better quality of LIFE.  That's the ultimate goal.  A better life for me and all of my loved ones.  Thank you from the bottom of my healthier heart (see... he's jumping!) and I feel good cause I Got (All of) You!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Not Insanity.... It's Determination!

Hey everyone!  I hope all is well with you.  With me...it's a mixed bag.  I'll explain.

There is a very popular definition of insanity that was penned in author Rita Mae Brown's book called Sudden Death.  She stated, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." I agree with her in most cases.  Doing the same thing over again and expecting something to change is pretty much insane.  And unstable. 

I had someone tell me that it was insane how much I was exercising.  I know they didn't mean anything by it...or maybe they did. I don't know. I try not to spend too much time trying to dissect people's motives.  That's a whole other type of insanity that I don't need to encounter.

So, I wonder if I am insane?  I am doing the same thing over and over again.  I exercise 60 plus minutes pretty much everyday of the week.  I meticulously document my food and portion sizes and count my calories.  As a result, I expect to see the scale move down.  It hasn't moved much lately.  It didn't move hardly at all this week.  Am I insane? 

NO!  I'm not insane. I'm DETERMINED.  Most of us have never felt what it's like to carry around 95 pounds and within the span of eight months...have it disappear.  I still have trouble wrapping my head around it. At the beginning of 2012, I was coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be obese for the rest of my life and trying to deal with what it would mean.  The loneliness it would bring.  Knowing that I would most likely lose years of my life.

That's changed now.  I see a different life ahead of me.  It doesn't matter if the scale moves 0.4 or 4.4.  What matters is how I feel, and I feel fantastic.  Yeah, I wish the scale had moved more.  But what I'm more impressed with is all the push ups and burpies I did in my Metabolic Conditioning class on Wednesday. That class was a beast.  It's only going to get harder.  I'm looking forward to it.   My biceps are getting bigger.  My legs are getting thinner.  Damn it!! My belly is gone.  I can see my feet.  I keep looking down while I'm walking.  I can see straight down my body to my feet.  I look to the side and back and can see the rest of my body.  No one know what that feels like unless you've been in my shoes.  It's hard to put into words.  It's emotional and exhilarating.

That Century Club is still dogging me, but I'm going to get there.  I'm going to keep moving, shaking,  jumping, burping (LOL), and rocking my body.  I'm going to sign up for a Kettlebell instruction class starting in October.  I'm going to keep reaching for that 15 minute mile.  And...lastly I'm going to lose 30 pounds by Dec. 31st so I can achieve two milestones in one year.  Very ambitious...I know.  But I'm DETERMINED!  Insanity can SUCK IT.

Another side note - I've entered a work challenge with my co-workers. All participants must commit to some type of activity 30 minutes a day Monday - Friday from 9/17 - 11/16.  For each day you do not complete your exercise, you must pay $2.  Also, if you commit to a weight loss goal (mine is 16 lbs.) and don't reach it, you pay $5.  All money collected will be donated to charity.  I can totally do this.  It's a fun challenge, and I'm glad to see my coworkers involved and active.

Lastly, there is still time to donate to the ADA Step Out!  Thanks to all of you who donated.  I reached my fundraising goal.  All of you are so kind and supportive.  Thank you.

Lastly...lastly?  I designed cool Keep Calm blog tshirts?  I have the blue one.  The black one is next.  Need to keep my eyes on the prize.






Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Broke It!

Hey Readers!  I hope everyone had a productive week.  Sometimes I find that short work weeks are more challenging than regular ones because your schedule is a bit out of wack.  Considering that I was at war with my body, I was a bit apprehensive about this week.  I just wanted to get myself back to "normal."  Get my schedule back on track. 

I admit that I haven't felt like "myself" lately.  I don't know if it due to me adjusting to being in a relationship again.  Maybe I was totally too pumped up for my birthday, and we all know how that ended.  I just know that I was tired not "moving."  I felt I was stagnant, and that plateau was just weighing on me.  More so than Doubting Thomas and his sidekick ever could.

Plateaus are tough.  And this one was even worse because I'm so close to the century club.  It seemed like I hit 90 pounds, and my body refused to budge.  Back and forth I went.  I was up. I was down. I was the same.  I was so frustrated, and then getting sick and not working out for a week.  That is sure fire way for me to totally derail and fall off. 

But I was sick and tired of it.  I kept telling myself everyday this week that I was going to break it.  I worked hard.  I increased my intensity.  I made my workouts more challenging.  I found that I was able to work out at higher intensities for longer periods of time, which made sense since I'm able to run more instead of walk during my intervals.

I felt different too.  Mentally, I was calm as the week went on. I started feeling like myself again.  I was diligently recording my food intake and making good choices.  I drank plenty of water.  I was surprised that I was able to work out over seven straight days considering how long it was I went without exercising.  Each day got easier to the point I felt I never missed a day.

So...what happened?  I BROKE IT!  I BROKE that bitch of a plateau.  I am more than thrilled.  I'm happy that the scale moved, but I'm ecstatic about the fact that I didn't let the plateau beat me.  I could have easily just decided not to keep going.  But that's not me anymore.  I couldn't wait to get back to working out.  I missed it.  I need it.  It keeps me sane and mentally focused.  I'm able to just clear my mind and sweat it all out.  I didn't need all that doubt weighing me down.  I got rid of it, and I'm better for it. 

If there is anything I learned from this is how mentally tough I really am.  I kept myself focused although all these doubts and negative thoughts were pounding on me trying to work themselves inside my head.  I Don't Need It.  I got rid of all of it.  I let them drip down my face with all that sweat.  Damn straight!

Side Note: I booked a trip to Jamaica for next year.  I hope to be below 200 when I go.  So... Next goal - Get below 200 pounds before June 19th.  Think I can do it?  I'm certainly going to try.

Also, if you have a few dollars to spare... I don't care if it's $1.00 or $5.00... Please donate to Step Out for Diabetes.  The link is at the top of the page.  I'm so close to my $200 fund raising goal.  I'd appreciate it so much.  Thanks!  The walk is in less than ONE MONTH!  Let's do it!

Lastly, I posted the 90 pound pictures under the Weight Loss Photo Page.  Take a look.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Revolt is Over

Long time...no see, right?  It feels like I haven't posted an entry in forever.  I missed these entries because it's a way for me reflect on how my week went and it also keeps my honest and accountable.  And, can I just say that these two week were very trying!  My goodness!  My body completely revolted against me, but you know what? I gained control, and the revolt is over.  Let me fill you in.

First up... the biometric measure test that I took on Wednesday, 8/22.  If you are new to the blog, check out the biometric page.  I also posted the full results so you can view them there.  I was aiming for 3 out of 5.  Secretly, I was hoping for 4 out of 5.  Good news was that I did make 3/5 so I will get some savings in 2013.  I am disappointed in my glucose test since I had tested within range earlier in the year.  But, I'm taking what I can get.  This is great news considering I wasn't planning on doing anything when these tests were first offered to us.  I am proud that I was able to get three vital measures down within range in 7 months.   I am definitely going to enjoy the extra money in my paycheck.  It's like a raise for being healthy. :)  Next year, I'm going 5/5!

On Wednesday, my Zen Master also suggested a way for me to reach 4 miles in an hour on the treadmill.  Run a quarter mile.  Walk a quarter mile.  At first I thought... W.T.F?!?!?  How on earth am I going to do that?  Well, my body did it.  I didn't make 4 miles, but I did reach 3.9/hour.  My body paid for it after.  I hurt so bad.  But, I was also happy because I was able to run a quarter mile.

Next up... Pittsburgh trip.  It started off great.  I was having a lot of fun and enjoying myself.  On the eve of my birthday, I ate a Chicken Caesar salad... which pretty much took me out of commission ON my birthday and for several days after.  Something in that salad did not agree with my body, and it rebelled...EVERYWHERE!  Getting food poisoning is not the ideal way to lose weight, and in case you're wondering if I did lose... NOPE.  I'm glad too.  I definitely don't want to lose weight that way.  So, to sum it up, birthday is definitely postponed to another day. I'm going to just act like it didn't happen... although it did.

Getting sick was really unfortunate, and I was certainly worried.  I had already decided to take more than one day off during my birthday break, and I was concerned about how that would affect my body when I decided to start again. I haven't gone more than one day without working out so it was troublesome for me think about.  Now, with my illness, I ended up not working out for a whole WEEK.  It was EIGHT days to be exact. 

I wanted to make sure by body was ready because I was so weak.  So, on Friday I told myself I'd do Zumba.  At first, I was wheezing a bit.  No joke.  But by the second song, I got my wind back and completed my normal 1 hour routine.  My knees hurt later in the day, but I just made sure to rest and drink plenty of water.  I also decided that I was doing to walk/run on Saturday.

I was feeling ambitious this morning so I did the quarter mile intervals again.  AND I rocked it.  I didn't get 4 miles/hour, but I did finish with my best outdoor run time to date.  In fact, I was running .3 mile intervals in the tail end of my run.  So, my conclusion... I'm not winded, and I can run for longer intervals.  .3 will turn into .5 and so on. 

So, after all that body drama, what did the scale say?  I lost 0.2 pounds.  How do I feel about that?  I really don't know.  It was my birthday.  I was celebrating.  Was I recording everything?  Absolutely not.  Was I eating absolutely crazy?  No.  Did I have birthday cake and birthday ice cream cake?  Yes.  Was it ridiculous pieces?  No.  So, I say these last two weeks were a wash.  My body was doing whatever the hell it wanted, and I'm taking control back.  I'm tried to sitting in one place, and I've been in one place for almost a month.  Body, you better listen up.  I'm taking control back.  Get ready.  It's Payback time.