Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Best Laid Plans

It's been so long since I've done a blog post that I feel like I had re-learn the process.  Hello out there to any of you that are still hanging in there with me.  It's been one hell of a summer!  Some great things have happened... And some not so great things.  I felt like I had this weight thing beat.  I mean I'm cruising along.  I figuratively threw my scale out the window for the summer.  I'd focus on my eating and continue working out.  That was my plan.  And as you can tell from my moodie and post title, the best laid plans don't always come to fruition.
I'm realizing as I look back on my summer that I got into some very poor habits.  I tried to quit the Jelly Bellies, but I'll be honest and say I didn't have my heart in it.  They are too good and too easily assessable.  And Jelly Bellies weren't the only thing I was eating.  I was loving up on my sweets.  Carbo-overloading and loving and hating every minute of it.
So, what do I have to show for my Summer of Sin? Weight gain. I told myself, "Don't worry.  You'll just maintain because you're still working out."  And I was.  I worked out the entire summer.  I seldom missed any days.  But what I came to realize is that not even exercise can take care of excess.  I need to find my balance again and go back to what was working for me.
When I look back on all the different combinations of food, diet and exercise, I felt my best when I was on the Whole30 program.  It was tough to start, but once I was there, I felt amazing.  My cravings were manageable, and after a while, I didn't feel hungry.  I ate to gain satiation, and I selected foods to get me there.  Once the 30 days was over, I was able to find out what my trigger foods were, and instead of planning a good, healthy diet that would help me manage these items, I did the opposite because, HEY!  It's the summer. 
How much weight did I gain?  Well, I was hovering in the 220 range for quite a while, and now I'm up to 248.8.  I'm not going to hide it.  I'm going to put it out there because it's only going to help me.  I'm not beating myself up about it either.  Why?  Because it does more harm than good.  I didn't eat well, and I ate in excess, and of course, this is the logical result.  It's not rocket science. 

Calories IN > Calorie OUT

So, what do I do now?  I'm going back to what worked for me.  I'm going to focus on good food.  Lean meats, vegetables, healthy fats and protein.  That's it.  I'm also going to cook with olive oil and avoid seed oils.  When I was on the Whole30, my blood pressure dropped 20 points.  It was because I was eating very great food.  Whole foods.  I removed the dreaded "FRANKENFOODS" or as most people call them, processed foods.
Food.  Food.Food.Food.  FOOD!  I love you.  I hate you.  I always thought that exercise and Tom and Murphy would be my downfall.  If I couldn't keep the exercise in my schedule, I'd win!  Funny!  Exercise isn't my problem.  Managing my food is my problem.  I love exercise.  Food is my nemesis, and I must bring that healthy balance back.
Am I disappointed?  Hmmmm.  No, I'm not.  It was inevitable.  I think that's how I'm looking at it.  I tipped off the wagon. I didn't fall all the way off.  I'm proud of the way I'm handling it. I'm going back to what worked for me.  I'm blogging.  I'm holding myself accountable.  I'm fighting back.  I refuse to lose myself again.  I love my life.  Just because I gained some weight back doesn't mean I throw in the towel. I have so much to be thankful for this summer.  I took some great trips, and met a wonderful man.  I signed up for tennis lessons, and I'm actively fulfilling my dream of becoming a recreational tennis player.  I got three (YES, THREE) tattoos!  My doctor removed two of my three medications.  I was asked to share my weight loss story/struggles with a group of women that are also TRANSORMing their lives.  There is no reason to dwell on the negative.  It's time to return to what works and kick out what doesn't. 
So, to kick off my "REBOOT 2.0,"  I'm dedicating this post to my love/hate relationship with food.  As I was finishing up my workout this morning, a song came on my playlist that made me smile.  It really does sum up my relationship with food.  You may have won this battle... but I will win the war.  Food, We Fight... We Love. 
Until next week...  Thank you for hanging in there with me folks.  I'm still on this journey.  I took a small detour, but I'm getting back on track.
If you're curious of my tats, here they are.  I love them.  Each one means a lot, and I can't wait for my last piece.  That won't be until I reach my goals.
This was a tattoo that I got with a group of wonderful women that have been an amazing source of support for me.  We decided to get tattoos together, and most of us decided to get "friends" inside of an infinity symbol.  It's very fitting.  My Friends are my lifeline, and I love all of you.  So, I dedicated my right foot to you.  I'll never get a tattoo on my foot again.  It hurt like a mutha!

This piece was something I though of doing for a while.  I wanted something to symbolize my journey and what I've accomplished so far.  My favorite song is Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. My father introduced this song to me at a young age, and it always resonated with me.  The beginning stanzas are very fitting, peaceful and positive... which is how I like to live my life.  So it made sense to get the sheet music and have the first few lines made into a tattoo.  This was also the last song that played as I finished my first workout that began my weight lost journey.  The starts represent the favorite colors of my family.  Black - Niece, Light Blue - Sister, Dark Blue - Brother, Green - Father, Red - Mother, Purple - Me 

This tattoo is my sorority mascot. I've always wanted a dove, and it seemed fitting to add it right above my brand.  ZPBS! I love my sorors and my frat!