Sunday, February 26, 2012

Let Me Introduce You...

Week #4 has come and gone.  One month into my quest for better health and a better quality of life, and I already feel different.  I definitely have more energy.  I have a pep in my step - where before I used to dread leaving my desk to go to the bathroom or even warm up my lunch.  Let me tell you I used to find reasons not to move before.  It's amazing what a little exercise will do your body mentally and physically.

Week #4 also find me down two more pounds for a total weight loss of 13 LBS. IN FOUR WEEKS!  That's pretty awesome, so right now I'm mentally patting myself on my back.  I feel quite good about what I've been able to do so far.  I've been able to go out to eat and make some good choices, and some not so good choices.  For example, I ate at Red Robin twice in a weeks period.  That's not the best decision I ever made, but I made sure that if I ate a cheeseburger and steak fries, I was going to earn them.  And since I was able to lose weight while doing that, I will make sure that I do that in the future if I want to go out and have french fries.  Suggestion:  If you like eating out and are concerned about nutrition content, check the restaurant websites.  Most have great nutrition calculators where you can customize your meal and be able to eat items and still hit your nutrition goals for the day.  Panera and Red Robin have awesome ones just to name a few. 

Like I said before, I'm not going to deprive myself like I did last time.  I'm just watching my portions.  For example, on Friday I really wanted a Cinnamon Roll from Panera.  Before, I used to buy these devilish confectioneries two at a time, and if you mutliply the nutrition content x 2, I was slowly putting myself in a sugar coma - and for a person with Type 2 diabetes, that's like death by cinnamon roll.  1,260 calories!  GAH!!

Now, on Friday what I did after eating a deliciously healthy dinner prepared by lovely sister (thanks sis!), I had 1/2 cinnamon and ate it very slowly.  YUMMMMM, and it was only 315 calories.  I also worked my ass off jumping around to Zumba earlier that day and burned over 1,000 calories so I enjoyed that roll.  And, I'm going to enjoy the other half after dinner today.  Again, after jumping my ass around to Zumba this morning.

I better enjoy these "treats", and I know I won't be losing weight at this pace forever.  The more I weigh, the more calories I burn.  As the weight falls, so does the calorie burn. It will taper down eventually, and I won't be able to eat a whole burger, but I can still have half.  I will do everything in my power to keep my metabolism roaring like a machine!  If you want to lose weight, you gotta eat.  So, I'm making sure I eat healthy, and have a burger and fries every now and then. 

Speaking of "treats" - a real treat isn't a cinnamon roll.  It's taking the elevator on Thursday after I finished the hardest workout I've had that week, and my legs felt like jello.  That's better than food any day!

Hi!  I'm looking for trouble!
Anyway, on to fun stuff.  I want to introduce you to my doubter...my hater...that lil' dude that sits on my shoulder all day telling me I'm tired and can step off the elliptical or leave Zumba after 30 or so minutes.  He's a cute lil' fucker, but a real pain in the ass.  Everybody say "Hi" to Doubting Thomas or Douchebag T. I call him D.T. for short.

If any of you following Sonic the Hedgehog, he may look familiar to you.  My niece was drawing some Sonic the pics the other day, and I say her drawing him.  I thought he looked cute and menacing at the same time...which is how I envision D.T. so there he is in all his hateful glory.  I just love giving him the boot.

D.T. didn't show up that much this week.  I don't know if that's because I'm pretty much set a schedule for myself or what.  I know he'll be around soon.  And, I'll give him the boot usual.  He is cute tho...only my D.T. would be cute.  After I boot him, I pat him on his head so he knows there are no hard feelings.  He just won't get the better of me.  Like Ellen says, "Let your haters be your motivators."  Hate On Me, D.T.  Hate on!
Sorry, D.T.  Try again next week.  You get the boot!

P.S. - As I mentioned before, I'm a numbers girl, and I love data.  I also love getting data from my workouts to let me know how well I'm doing.  I invested in a heart rate monitor to make sure I'm not working out to hard.  I used it today while doing Zumba on the Wii, and it said I burned 1,725 calories.  I don't know if that's true or not.  I'll let you know next week what I think of that.  It's possible...since a person of normal weight burns about 1,000 calories during Zumba.  We'll see.

P.P.S - If you are looking for a good app to help you keep track of what you are eating, drinking, and exercise, check out the Livestrong app.  Awesome stuff!  It's also a great website.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

My Bod...My Biz...

Well, week #3 has come to an end, and it was a rough one - only because I had a stomach bug that came and bit me Monday night.  So, I was out sick on Tuesday.  Thank goodness I bounced back within 24 hours.  The thing that bothered me the most about my illness was that I missed my Tuesday workout.  That tells me right there that I've flipped a switch inside myself if I felt guilty about missing a work out.  I even made up the work out on Friday by going to the work gym.  And I don't even work in the office on Friday.  I was in the area so I decided to stop by after taking care of some business.  I even still did Zumba at home...so I had TWO...2...DOS workouts on Friday.  That second one almost did me in, but I lasted.  I was afraid it was going to tire me out for today, but it didn't. I completed my Saturday workout.  It was a bit later in the day because this was the first time that I had that internal battle whether I should skip my work out or not.  In the end, I went ahead and did it, and I'm glad I did. 

I lost 2.6 pounds this week. YAY ME!  Again, it's encouraging that I'm building a cushion.  I know I'm going to need it further down the road.  I was also afraid that since I was sick it would cause problems with my weight loss this week, but it didn't.  So, kudos for keeping with my workout plan.  On to week #4!

Now that I've got all that out of the way, I feel like sharing some pithy thoughts.  For those of you that don't know me, I'm a bit of a political junkie.  I love freedom of thought.  I'm a die-hard, tree-hugging Democrat.  I support President Obama.  I watch MSNBC and Real Time with Bill Maher.  Yes, I'm liberal.  If that turns you off, you might not want to read further.

Not too long ago, President Obama made a decision surrounding how contraceptives should be covered under heath care plans.  Basically, he stated that all health care plans should cover contraceptives without a co-pay.  Now, supposedly he made a distinction for religious based organizations such as Catholic Churches and such.  Catholics do not feel contraceptives should be utilized, and do not want to offer contraceptives as part of their health care plan.  I feel that it is their right to believe this and should not be forced to "personally" provide for contraceptives in their plan since it is against their religious beliefs.  However, I feel that their employees who do not believe in that tenant should be able to receive contraceptive care without having to pay 100% out of pocket.

Well, there was a huge bru-ha-ha over this decision because many felt that President Obama was stomping on the rights of faith-based organizations.  The government cannot force faith-based organizations to "personally" provide for something that they do not believe in.  I agree with this, and President Obama later made the distinction that these organizations would not have to "personally" provide the care.  The health care administrator will be responsible for providing contraceptives to those employees that request it without co-pay, and the organization will not have to take part.  I feel this is a fair compromise, but I'm not Catholic so I may be biased.  I'm sure there are folks out there that are still unsure about the whole situation.

I use birth control. I also had to pay out of pocket for it since my insurance coverage would not pay for the type that was prescribed to me.  It pisses me off becasue a man with ERECTILE DISFUNCTION can get as much Viagra as he wants and it's paid for, but I couldn't even get a portion of mine covererd. I call bullshit and shenanigans on that right there!  What a fucking double standard!  I am happy that President Obama made the decision that woman can get contraceptive care without co-pay, and insurance companies must provide it. 
The issue I find so disturbing is how the discussion has turned from the division of church and state in our goverment to civil rights.  There are actually legislators out there that are talking about banning this type of birth control...in fact, they are discussing banning all types of birth control and are happily keeping women out of the discussion.  Now, I ask you, how can a legislator tell me that using birth control is immoral?  I believe what I believe.  I do not feel it is immoral.  So, you cannot force your religion and beliefs on me.  You also have no right to legislate my uterus or my decision not to have children  It's my decision.  It's my right...my civil right to make decision concerning my body.  You have no right to legislate that.

And...since we are discussing the division of church and state, I feel your religious beliefs should determine how you legislate.  Some of your constituents may not believe as you do, so keep that in mind.  They deserve representation as well.  Respect me.  Respect the freedom of my beliefs. Religion should not be part of politics.  End of story. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue so feel free to share.  Check out my new poll question.  Until next time...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

No Time Like the Present

Another great week!  I lost 2.4 pounds, and I'm down 8 pounds so far.  That makes me happy because I'm ahead of schedule.  This is important to me because I know there will come I time where I won't lose for a while.  It's nice to a bit of a cushion. :)

I also feel different.  My energy level is up.  I determined my prime work out time - in the middle of the day versus the end of the day.  I handle it so much better, and I don't feel like death on my way home.  I worked out every day in some shape or form.  I went to the gym all four days I was at work.  I did Zumba on the Wii (which is fantastic), and I also used my home elliptical.  Again, I'm mixing it up.  I didn't do Zumba at work, but I'm getting it at home so it's all good.
Shake ya ass!  Watch yo'self! 
Show me what you working with!

If you haven't tried Zumba, I highly suggest you do.  I did it this morning.  It's very fun, highly active, and when you're finished, you don't feel like you worked out.  Or at least I don't.  And, my fat was definitely crying.  Doubting Thomas was nowhere to be found this weekend. 

I've had a lot on my mind lately too.  My mom's youngest brother (and one of my favorite uncles) is not going well.  Congestive heart failure due to uncontrolled high blood pressure.  Lung cancer due to smoking.  It's hard to see my mom so hurt.  As a child, you are used to having your parents comfort you when you are in pain.  But, when you experience your parents in pain, it's hard to know what to do.  I let her know I'm there for her if she needs me, and I know she understands.  I just wish there was something I could do to help her more.

It seems that so many things are happening that reaffirm I'm definitely on the right track.  Folks, we are only given a limited amount of time to live our lives to the fullest.  Take advantage of every opportunity.  Be healthy.  Be happy.  Take care of yourself, and if you need help, ask for it.  If you fin yourself surrounded by doubters and haters, make them you motivators.  Fight.  Fight for a better life for you and your loves ones.  Do it now.  There is no time like the present to make a change to live a healthier life.  Become a Fighter.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Who Said I Was Worthless?

Can I just say I ache?  But I feel g-o-o-o-o-d.  I really do.  It means my body is moving in ways that it hasn't in a very long time.  So, I'm going to take all my aches in my upper and lower back, my legs, my arms as a badge of honor...a sense of accomplishment.  I'm not one to complain so that's about it for that aches and pains nonsense.

I also started working out at my workplace gym this week.  I work Monday - Thursday, and the plan was to work out everyday that I'm in the office. So far, I've done Monday - Wednesday, and I plan on going tomorrow too.  My pink gym bag is all packed and ready to go. 

I also figured out that my body likes it when I work out in the early afternoon versus after work.  Let me tell you that that bastard Doubting Tom was riding my ass on Tuesday when I worked out after work He jumped on my aching back for the 60 minutes I was on that bloody elliptical machine.  I was so tired, and my body hurt.  But, I brushed him off and finished.  I almost fell asleep in my dinner plate that evening, but I finished.

Today was totally different.  I worked out mid afternoon, and I feel really good.  So, I'm going to try that tomorrow too.  There is a Zumba class tomorrow too that I may try.  I tried Intro Step Aerobics today and lasted about 15 minutes.  If I can't last, I just finish up on one of the machines.  I like trying new things.  Keeps things fresh.  I liked the energy and endorphin rush I got when I got back to my desk too.  My bestie was victim to some of my post-exercise random rambles, but she's awesome and loves me for it.  So, thanks bestie!

While I was working out on Tuesday with that bitch-ass "Tom," Dr. Oz was on, and he had several extremely overweight women on the show.  So, I figured I'd watch that instead of listening to my music (which was a bad idea...I definitely need to work out to music versus TV).  These women were call "Feeders."  I've never heard of that before, and neither had Dr. Oz.  Apparently, these women can be hired to perform for men who find fat sexy.  Sometimes they want to be smothered in their flab, smell their sweat, or pay them to eat extreme amounts of food.  I guess it gets them off?  Strange...but I also saw on Dr. Phil this dude that lived like an adult baby and pooped in an adult diaper.  I guess it takes all types?

Anyway, Dr. Oz asked these women if they wanted to lose their weight and be more healthy and some of them did.  Dr. Keith Ablow was also a guest and he was providing psychiatric commentary.  He wanted each woman to honestly answer the following question: "Who was it that told me I was worthless?"  Apparently, answering this question honestly is the first step to getting control of food addiction. 

So, as I'm trudging away on the elliptical machine, I close my eyes.  I thought about that question.  "Who was it that told me I was worthless?"  My parents never told me I was worthless.  My brother, sister, friends...no one ever said that. 

I've always been heavy.  I can't remember a time when I wasn't.  I was picked on in elementary and middle school about my weight, but I brushed it off.  I think that impacted me quite a bit because I felt that I always had to excel in whatever I could so it would overshadow how heavy I was, and people wouldn't see me as heavy. They would see my as accomplished. 

So, again, I'm back to that question again.  "Who told me I was worthless?"  Being completely honest, the only person I came up with was me.  I allowed circumstances affect me to where I felt I was worthless.  I told myself that.  I overcompensated for being overweight by excelling in anything that I could get my hands on, but it still didn't fix the problem. 

I don't feel that way anymore.  I've been working on myself for quite a while now.  I'm In Repair so to speak.  I'll get there one day.  Tom can ride my ass all he wants.  I'm going to LONDON!

Special Note: To be honest, I really think that questions is a bunch of bullshit.  People are heavy for different reasons and not every overweight person has a food addiction.  I really took that question with a grain of salt and kept gliding away...remembering Keith Ablow was also the dude who said we should admire Newt Gingrich for all the affairs he had because he was "in demand."  What the fuck ever!  I also have a new poll question so go vote, and please comment!
Hell yeah!  I'm superfast!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

W Day

So, today is weigh-in day.  I'll admit I was a bit anxious.  I popped up at 6:30 am this morning which is pretty pathetic since it's Saturday, and I don't work on the weekends.  I knew this date was coming.  I was afraid of what I would see...or more like what I wouldn't see.

That fear...that anxiety shouldn't be there, and I'm going to have to work on myself to make sure it disappears.  I did what I need to do this week.  I ate well, I started to exercise, I didn't use the elevator at all this week at work.  And, that's saying a lot.  I even climbed stairs a bit for exercise, which about killed me.  I shouldn't feel like I failed if the scale isn't reporting what I wanted to see.  I'll work on that.

So, I got up.  I stepped on the scale, and guess what it said?  Well, if you look at the top of the page, you will see a new tab that says, "Weight Loss Chart."  So, go ahead and click on the tab.  Take a look at the spreadsheet.  I told you that I'm a numbers girl, and I'm also an Excel geek so anytime I can create a spreadsheet, I jump at it.  I'll weight in every Saturday and report my results.  That's pretty ballsy...now everyone in the world knows how much I weight.  FUCK!

I had a very good week, as you can see.  I tried to increase my activity level everyday.  As of Friday, I'm a proud, reinstated member at my work facility gym.  So, I'm going to attempt to work out everyday I'm at work - four days a week.  I also have a work out partner who will join me from time to time, and she promised to kick my ass if I start bitching.  So, work out buddy, if you're reading this, I'm ready.

I went out to dinner with my best friend and cousin last night.  We went to Chili's, and I love their nachos.  I even had four of them and a modest dinner.  I made good food choices because I wanted those G-D nachos, and they were fantastic as usual.  Anyway, I'm getting off topic. 

During the ride to the restaurant, I was talking to them about how I'm don't get the pleasure from food that I used to.  I'm an emotional overeater. I eat when I'm happy.  I eat when I'm sad.  I eat when I'm bored.  So, I was eating all the time.  When I was considering weight loss surgery, I had to attend a food addiction therapy group, and they signed me off saying I was ready for the surgery.  All cured...even though I'd scarf down two large McDonald french fries on the way to group therapy.

To be honest, I can't remember the last time I had an emotional pig out.  I can't remember the last time I ate dinner just to look forward to dessert.  I don't know when it happened.  I just don't receive the euphoric feeling from eating anymore.  I don't find it joyous.  Now, I just find it necessary.  I don't know if any of you will ever understand what that means to a person who has a food addiction. 

Not to belittle any other types of addition out there, but humor me for a moment.  A food addiction has to be one of the hardest to overcome.  A crack addict may feel like they need crack to survive, but the body does not use crack for basic function.  Food, on the other hand, is VITAL.  NEEDED.  REQUIRED!  How in the hell do you manage a food addiction when you have to eat every fucking day?

I don't know if I can answer that.  I hope I can give you an answer soon.  All I can say is I pray everyday that maintain the strength to keep going.  Imma Be doing it everyday!  (Thank you Black Eyed Peas!  I enjoy the food...and the group!)

P.S. - Keep an eye at the top of the blog.  I'll be posting questions that you can vote on.  I'm running a democracy - not a dictatorship.  Also, I commissioned an artist (my niece) to give a face to "Doubting Thomas."  I'll share the lil' fucker with you soon.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A Diet By Any Other Name...

Folks, you better hold on tight.  It's about to get a bit bumpy.  It's time for my first rant, and it's a doozy. 

I went to my physician today.  I needed to get a form signed so I could join the fitness center at my work location.  I also wanted to discuss my medications since I was having trouble with one of them, and I didn't want it replaced with another.  I wanted to work on my diabetes with the meds I already take and include better food choices and exercise.

So, I explained why I was there, and that I didn't want to take any more meds.  I wanted to get off the meds.  Doc was on-board as long as my blood work didn't show any dire situations.  So far so good.

I then asked Doc if it was possible that I could get off all my meds by losing weight, and Doc said absolutely.  Again...good news.

So, Doc started checking my over.  Getting my vitals and such asking how I'm planning on losing weight.  I stated that I had been on a low-carb diet before (no carb is more like it), and it didn't work out so I was going to do it the old fashioned way. 

Doc started going on about how weight loss is a slow process.  I know this.  That's why I've given myself time.  I know I'm not going to wake up 12 months from now and be finished.  This is a change that will be incorporated for the rest of my life.  Doc suggested that if I get discouraged by not losing weight, I should visit a colleague that specializes in weight loss - especially for diabetes patients.  Doc's mentioned the colleague before.  Doc also said that it's not a low-carb diet.  At least not at first.

I'm starting to get a bit perturbed because I just explained how I didn't want a low-carb diet plan.  Doc explained the progam to me.
  • I can eat all the grilled skinless chicken breasts I want.
  • Egg whites and turkey bacon for breakfast.
  • Olives, pickles, and cheese are okay.
  • I have to take supplements - MAGNESIUM, POTASSIUM, and a STOOL SOFTENER!
Ok, I'm not fucking stupid.  I had to take the same supplements on that "MODIFIED FAST" and eat the same kinds of foods.  You take magnesium and a stool softener to prevent constipation.  You need potassium because you aren't able to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables that have potassium in them.  It may not be exactly as what I went through, but it's similar enough to know it's something I don't want.

Doc also mentioned that patients has gone through the program and lost weight.  So I asked, "Did they keep it off."  Doc said, "Not all of it."

Now, like I said earlier, this isn't the first time this progam was mentioned.  I also remember Doc telling me that this colleague was a previous employer.

This pissed me off beyond belief.  Was Doc not listening to me?  Did Doc not hear that I didn't want to go the low-carb route again?  Does Doc understand how it feels not to have a fucking poop for a week?? Did Doc live through sneaking in boxes of Honey Wheat Sticks, Club Crackers, Vanilla Wafers, and other shit into the house so no one would see and about it (yes, I did that)?  Did Doc sneak that shit through a fucking bedroom window so no one would know what was going on (Yep, I did that too)?  Yeah, folks, it was like that.  I was in a fucking downward spiral of carbo-overload, and I felt there wasn't shit I could do about it.  I'm not going through that again.

So, fuck you and your colleague's diet plan.  A low-carb diet is a low-carb diet.  I don't care how pretty you wrap it up and present it to me as something different.  I'm tempted to fire Doc's ass , and find someone else.  But, I'm going to marinate on it for a minute. 

I'm in the driver's seat on this journey.  I choose to lose weight how I want to, and it's going to take a long time.  I understand this...more than Doc will ever know.  Doubting Thomas, Shady Physicians, and Low-Carb nonsense can suck it!

My song choice for this entry...India Arie's "I Choose".  She summed it up better than I ever could.  It's also a great workout song.  As always, thanks for reading and your support.  I feel 10 times better already.  Ranting is good for the soul.  I wonder how many "f-bombs" I threw at you.  That's why the adult content warning is there.