There is a very popular definition of insanity that was penned in author Rita Mae Brown's book called Sudden Death. She stated, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." I agree with her in most cases. Doing the same thing over again and expecting something to change is pretty much insane. And unstable.
I had someone tell me that it was insane how much I was exercising. I know they didn't mean anything by it...or maybe they did. I don't know. I try not to spend too much time trying to dissect people's motives. That's a whole other type of insanity that I don't need to encounter.
So, I wonder if I am insane? I am doing the same thing over and over again. I exercise 60 plus minutes pretty much everyday of the week. I meticulously document my food and portion sizes and count my calories. As a result, I expect to see the scale move down. It hasn't moved much lately. It didn't move hardly at all this week. Am I insane?
NO! I'm not insane. I'm DETERMINED. Most of us have never felt what it's like to carry around 95 pounds and within the span of eight months...have it disappear. I still have trouble wrapping my head around it. At the beginning of 2012, I was coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be obese for the rest of my life and trying to deal with what it would mean. The loneliness it would bring. Knowing that I would most likely lose years of my life.
That's changed now. I see a different life ahead of me. It doesn't matter if the scale moves 0.4 or 4.4. What matters is how I feel, and I feel fantastic. Yeah, I wish the scale had moved more. But what I'm more impressed with is all the push ups and burpies I did in my Metabolic Conditioning class on Wednesday. That class was a beast. It's only going to get harder. I'm looking forward to it. My biceps are getting bigger. My legs are getting thinner. Damn it!! My belly is gone. I can see my feet. I keep looking down while I'm walking. I can see straight down my body to my feet. I look to the side and back and can see the rest of my body. No one know what that feels like unless you've been in my shoes. It's hard to put into words. It's emotional and exhilarating.
That Century Club is still dogging me, but I'm going to get there. I'm going to keep moving, shaking, jumping, burping (LOL), and rocking my body. I'm going to sign up for a Kettlebell instruction class starting in October. I'm going to keep reaching for that 15 minute mile. And...lastly I'm going to lose 30 pounds by Dec. 31st so I can achieve two milestones in one year. Very ambitious...I know. But I'm DETERMINED! Insanity can SUCK IT.
Another side note - I've entered a work challenge with my co-workers. All participants must commit to some type of activity 30 minutes a day Monday - Friday from 9/17 - 11/16. For each day you do not complete your exercise, you must pay $2. Also, if you commit to a weight loss goal (mine is 16 lbs.) and don't reach it, you pay $5. All money collected will be donated to charity. I can totally do this. It's a fun challenge, and I'm glad to see my coworkers involved and active.
Lastly, there is still time to donate to the ADA Step Out! Thanks to all of you who donated. I reached my fundraising goal. All of you are so kind and supportive. Thank you.
Lastly...lastly? I designed cool Keep Calm blog tshirts? I have the blue one. The black one is next. Need to keep my eyes on the prize.
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