Choices

Hello my lovely readers, and Happy Labor Day for those of you who reside in the United States. I hope you take advantage of the time off to do something you enjoy. For those of us who live in northwest Pennsylvania/northeast Ohio, it's a lovely day.

I started my day with some activity.  I did some weight training - I bought 2 ten pound dumbbells and some resistance bands and put those to good use. I also swung my 20 pound kettlebell - single arm swings, snatches, squats and full American swings. I'll admit I was curious/concerned how my incision sites would react. I have one incision that goes quite deep and there were some internal stitches that may take 8-10 weeks to fully heal, but I was given the green light to start weights at 6 weeks.  It's been 7 weeks now, and no pain anywhere. I'm quite pleased with that so I'll make sure to incorporate more weights 3x a week for about 30 minutes along with my other cardio.

So, how is Matilda doing? She's great. Matilda Gertrude (as my mom calls her) wakes me up sometimes in the morning talking because she's empty. I won't say hungry, or maybe this is a new signal for hungry because it doesn't feel like the hunger pains I felt in the past. It's more of an empty feeling and lots of noise because she won't shut up. Right now, I don't feel hungry. I feel empty. So, I try to eat every three to four hours.

Last week was a tough one. This week was much better. I really focused on my protein and calorie goals, and I was able to hit them by incorporating a 4th meal.  I'm keeping my carbohydrates below 50 net grams and try to get my protein in the 90-100 gram range. I also make sure to start my day off with 16 ounces of fluid, and drink that amount between each meal. If I do that, I will also meet my fluid goals of at least 64 ounces a day.

Argh! And I hate spaghetti too!

I also spoke with my Physician Assistant about my blood work. She did confirm that my protein levels are low and my kidney function was showing signs of dehydration. She did say my iron was fine (great news), but my Vitamin A was low. She told me to back off my extra B-12 and now I take an extra Vitamin A along with my Vitamin D. I'm fine with the extra vitamins. My goal is to get off of my last two medications - Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol.

As for my weight loss progression... What weight loss? I gained again this week - 3 pounds. Now, if I was a newbie to this whole weight loss thang, I'd been like ready to go buck wild and throw some stuff. How is it remotely possible to gain weight when I'm eating 800-900 calories a day. Son of a %$#@!

Damn scale! Where's the tape measure?

I'll admit, there is a smidge of disappointment when you don't see the scale move, and that's why it can be a curse to have one if your home if that is your measuring stick. For me, it's more complex because I know why I'm stalling/gaining. I also know that in time, the scale will begin moving again. My body's gone through quite a shock, and it's still healing and trying to figure out what the hell I just did to it. This also won't be my first stall. I'll probably have several more before I finally reach my goal - whatever that may be. I'm looking for a size goal (12) more than a weight goal. I also want my guns to pop!

I think my biggest adjustment since I had the sleeve surgery is coming to terms with my "Fat Brain." What is Fat Brain, you ask? Well, for me, Fat Brain is how I approached food as an obese person - large portions, fast eating. Fat Brain is how I food shopped - going for less nutrient dense food and more processed food. Fat Brain is how I know I can eat two lamb meatballs and then only can eat one.  Fat Brain is getting upset that my serving of protein fortified cereal was only 3/4 cup because I didn't think it was going to be enough - only to find that it was more than satisfying.

Matilda says "Not today, Fat Brain."

Fat Brain got me at the grocery store today. Why don't you pick up that piece of carrot cake? I picked it up, and then I thought, I don't think I'll enjoy this. Look at all that icing. So I put it down. Fat Brain said to me pick out a pint of Halo Top Cookie Dough Ice Cream. You got a coupon. So, I did, but then I turned over to read the nutritional data, and I didn't want to put that stuff in my body yet. Fat Brain got me at my mom's house when I tried a small piece of pineapple pound cake - only to scrape off the toppings and eat two tiny squares and push it away. Fat Brain said, "YES! Dig in." Only to find that it wasn't satisfying, and I didn't want it.

Matilda is really running the show, and I appreciate how she really is making an impact of my food choices.  Right now, she is in love with low fat cottage cheese and turkey pepperoni. She also enjoys an occasional Gerber Arrowroot cookie or 1/2 serving of Pepperidge Farms Pretzel Goldfish. Who knew kiddy food could be so satisfying and at the perfect serving sizes - especially on those days when I may need the extra calorie boost from my activity. My mom did tell me my dad used to eat up our teething cookies when we were babies, so maybe I take after him.

Thank you Matilda Gertrude.  You are doing exactly what I need you to do. Healthy choices - and keeping my Fat Brain in check.  Until next week.....

Weight Progression

HW: 361 (circa 2006)

SW: 278

CW: 259

GW: Size 12!!