Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Tale of Two Moods...

Happy Weekend Readers!  I hope everyone had a productive week.  As for me, I'm not quite sure how this week went.  I felt like I was two people this week.  I don't know if it was due to the monstrous achievement I had last week or perhaps it's due to a certain monthly visitor.  All I know is that I struggled all week with something I have not had too much of a problem with so far in this journey.  Usually I'm fighting with Doubting Thomas and his cousin Murphy on my workouts.  I'll admit I haven't had to much trouble with them lately. I've pretty happy with my workout choices, and I'm good at keeping things fresh and challenging myself so they have been absent for the most part. 

What I had problems with this week was my appetite. And, it's so strange.  I found myself hungry at odd moments when I'm usually not.  I have an eating schedule to make sure that I'm feeding myself every few hours to keep hunger in check and my metabolism roaring.  My calorie allowance didn't change much from last week to this week - even with the 5 pound loss.  So, why was I so hungry?  Why was I craving crazy foods?

I honestly don't know the answer to that question.  What I do know is that I fought it as hard as I could.  I worked out hard and tried to keep myself busy.  I increased my resistance workouts this week gearing up for my Kettlebell class that starts next week.  The Kettlebell instructor is the same person that leads my Metabolic Conditioning class, and she is no joke.  My burbees, push ups, and sit ups are improving, and I'm working on a new Jillian DVD.

So, to see an weight increase of 0.8 pounds this week really didn't bother me all that much.  I'm just glad I made it through this week.  I'm keeping my promise and not letting the scale bother or dictate my success or failure for the week.  Especially considering how my clothes feel.  My success this week - knowing I didn't cave to my hunger and cravings and fitting into a size 16 Calvin Klein black dress.  Now, that is SUCCESS.

Thinking back on it all, I'm glad I have these struggles.  I need these challenges. I need to have these internal discussions with myself.  Do I eat what I crave?  Or, should I eat the healthy meal that I packed in my lunch?  Should I pig out on candy or eat the fruit?  Should I eat the huge serving on Chinese food or the balanced meal of baked chicken and vegetables?  I will always have these internal discussions considering my past relationship with food.  They will always be there no matter what happens.  I'll always have to battle with myself to make sure I make the most wise and healthy choices.  In the end, I must be satisfied with the choices I've made, Settle Down, and work it out.


P.S. - There is still time to donate to Step Out for Diabetes.  The walk is next Saturday!  Thanks!