Confessions of a Sugarholic

One year ago today, I was...  Afraid to step on the scale. Afraid to fail...again. Contemplating whether I was truly ready to lose weight. Wondering how my life would be if I didn't lose weight. Dreaming of how awesome my life would be if I DID lose weight. Determined to get my life back. Fear. Contemplation. Wonder. Dreaming. Determination. So I stepped on the scale.  I stepped on the elliptical.  I started a blog. One year later, I am...   Not so focused on the scale. Not afraid of failure. In awe of what my body is able to do. Refusing to say "I can't do it." Willing to try. Not making excuses. LIVING.   I've had the chance to go back and read some of my entries over the last year.  Some of them are actually cringe worthy.  Did I actually share that?  Yes, I did.  I'm glad I did.  I needed this outlet in order to remain accountable for my actions and heal, and I've learned to lo...

Hey Readers!  It seems I've started a Healthy Life Revolution.  For those of you that don't follow me on Facebook, I've started a Facebook group for those of us looking for some inspiration/support in their healthy life style.  If you are interested, please leave a message on this blog entry, and I'll add you.  It's a great community of people who are really focused on making positive changes in their lives, and we all are very supportive and encouraging... No judgement allowed.  So, please join us.  We'd love to have you.  The more, the merrier. I'm just getting back from Niagara Falls, Canada, and I had a wonderful time.  I was even able to get in some really good workouts while I was away.  The hotel fitness center was amazing, and I had my best run to date.  4.4 miles in 60 minutes.  My friend and I also walked over three miles on Saturday and Sunday.  So, I walked/ran over 10 miles in a two day period.  Plus, add th...

Hey everyone!  I hope you all had a happy safe New Year.  I had a great time enjoying some great food.  I didn't feel guilty either.  I realize that I've come a long way from almost a year ago where I was sometimes afraid to eat anything that may have a larger calorie content.  I was concerned that anything that feel in that category would send me spiraling back to gaining weight, being unhealthy, and living a miserable life.  Now, I fully understand that food can be enjoyable, but when it's all said and done, food is fuel.  And that fuel must be used.  Check out my dress!   It was pretty cool dressing up and going out.  I hope I have more opportunities for dressing up in the future. Now that 2013 is here, I've been quite pensive.  I have lots on my mind.  I also know that my official one year anniversary is only two weeks away, and that is weighting on me too - but not in a negative way.  Just being thoug...

A new season of the biggest loser is starting, and I guess some would believe that I'd be very excited about it. I mean this is a show about folks losing extreme amounts of weight under extreme measures, and we as the TV viewing public get to watch it. Those transformations are pretty amazing when you think about it. I remember watching a season several years ago. This was right after I had gained all my weight back after the Low Carb debacle. So I watched the season, and it was inspiring? I don't know. If anything, I got feelings of extreme jealously. I mean... why couldn't that be me? Could I be on the show? Could they help me? At the time, if I'd had been on that show, I probably would have been the largest female contestant in the show's history. It was also disheartening and disgusting. Watching people workout to the point of vomiting. Crying. Snorting and spitting. Watching challenges where they tempt you with donuts, chips, cakes, and load...

Happy New Year's Eve Readers!  Do any of you have any plans for the evening?  I'm happy to say that I do.  I'll be spending the evening with my sister enjoying a lovely meal at Hyde Park Restaurant in downtown Cleveland.  After that... who knows.  But it's nice to know that I actually have plans and not spending my New Year's secretly wallowing in self-pity like I normally did.  I was good at hiding my true feelings. There is so much on my mind right now as we're leaving 2012 behind and stepping into 2013.  This year was completely unexpected.  I didn't start 2012 with the plan to lose weight. As you know all know, it unexpectedly crept up on me.  I was actually trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd always be fat and there was nothing I could do about it at the beginning of 2012.  I know I was only fooling myself because I truly would have never been happy as morbidly obese individual with only food to console me.  I...

Hi Readers!  Did you miss me?  I missed you guys, and it's great to be back.  It's nice to take a week off here and there, but so much happens in that time, and I feel like I have monstrous entries when I return.  So get ready for another one.    First up, Dave Matthews weekend was THE BEST!  I had a great time down in Virginia, and CWN and family were such gracious hosts.  Thank you so much for opening up your home to me and the greatness that is The Dave Matthews Band.  It was like going to Graceland for DMB fans.  It was a weekend filled with fun, food, and friends.  And, believe me, I made sure to enjoy all of it.    It can be difficult to manager your food intake when you don't journal everything, and I admit that I didn't document everything that went in my mouth.  What I did do is remain cognizant of what I was eating and how much.  I also shared some meals with my friends.  Sharing meals is ...

Hey all!  Another week has come and gone.  We are quickly approaching the end of 2012, and it certainly has me in a pensive mood.  I've been through so many changes this year - changes that I feel are for the better.  Makes me wonder what's in store for 2013.  I'm definitely not making any predictions because that's not the kind of person I am, and I'm not a person who makes New Year Resolutions either.  If I was, I would have lost weight a long time ago because I secretly make that resolution every year and to no avail...until this year. Funny that it was really a move to save money that kind of spearheaded my journey.  At this point, I'm grateful for anything that got my ass moving into action. And as soon as I saw positive results, my entire being just changed and I got behind this endeavor 100%.  I remember getting on that scale back on 1/28 and seeing that 15 pounds gone.  That was a huge motivator for me.  But...