Sunday, December 22, 2013

Reboot? Restart? Rewind?

It feels good to let my finger do the talking once again.  Hey readers.  I sure did take a leave of absence, didn't I?  I also feel I lost myself in the process.  After my mid-week meltdown, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection thinking about where I derailed.  It wasn't any event or circumstance that caused it.  It's really just plain old complacency and laziness, with a dash of arrogance.
Complacent. Webster defines complacent as "satisfied with how things are and not wanting to change them."  I'd say that was true.  I remember saying to myself over the last few months, "I'd be happy if I stay just how I am right now."  I don't think I truly believed that, but that was what I was telling myself.
Lazy, defined as "disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous."  I'd agree with that.  Sure, I still worked out more days during the week than not, but sometimes I wasn't feeling it so I wasn't as energetic as I could be.  I was lazy or mind and spirit if I think of how many times I should have recorded what I ate or paid attention to what I was eating.  I was so tired of tracking my food, and I really didn't want to discipline myself to continue so I let it go.  Lazy. You bet.
Arrogance. "An insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people."  I'd say I was more arrogant in thinking that I was untouchable, and I had this weight thing beat.  It couldn't creep back up on me anymore.  I also remember thinking that as long as I worked out, I could eat anything I wanted.  Calories in = calories out results in keeping a constant weight.  So, if I just exercised, I could eat what I wanted.  45 pounds later I realize it really doesn't work that way.  I don't care what you do, if you eat 4 pounds of straight up sugar in a week, no amount of activity will make that go away.
Melt down commenced.  Analyzing done.  Reboot.  Restart. Rewind?
No. I'm not looking at it that way.  It's good that it happened.  I can't go back in time for a redo.  I'm not restarting all over again and reboot isn't quite right either.  I'm going to remember what I did to get myself in this position, and move on.
I'm going to go back to what worked before.  Counting calories, which helps me keep track of what I'm eating.  However, prepackaged foods are out.  They contain a lot of preservatives, hidden sugars, and salt.  Instead, I'm going to create my own healthy meals from scratch.
Activity will remain the same.  Kettlebells are still my favorite so that will continue, as will Zumba.  I'll admit I'm struggling with both right now due to the added weight, but I hope to gain my mobility back soon. 
Candy.  Can't do it.  I can't do moderation.  It just doesn't work for me. It's been four days since I've eaten candy, and I'm going to keep counting those days.  Candy is my weakness, straight up, no-holds-bared sugar.  I need to keep it away, and I've told my family, friends, and loved ones to help me with this.  I also realize that my idle time is very dangerous.  Idle time is where I binge.  So, I must keep my hands busy.  After dinner, I must keep myself occupied.  Prayer and reflection.  Cross-stitching.  Watching TV with family.  Anything to keep me occupied and my hands busy.  Hot beverages also help so I'm going to use that as well.  Idle hands are a candy playground, so these hands will be busy.
Lastly, new goals.  When I first started, I figured 160 pounds was my perfect weight.  I'm not so sure anymore.  At this point, I just want to be healthy, strong, and under 200 pounds by the end of the year.  So, my goals for 2014 will reflect this.  Here they are in no particular order.
  1. There WILL be a number "1" leading my weight at the end of 2014. 
  2. Deadlift 300 pounds.
  3. Perform 10 switch snatches continuously with a 50 pound kettlebell.
  4. Run a 5K without stopping and under 40 minutes.
  5. Perform one pull up.
I'm confident that I can complete 4 out of 5 of these fitness achievements.  That pull up will be the most challenging, but I'm still going to attempt them.  As I complete each one, I will share them with you.  Plus, I'm definitely looking for another Tiffany charm.  I certainly haven't forgotten about those little tokens of goodness!
I also challenge all of you to think of some fitness goals you'd like to accomplish by the end of 2014.  No, I'm not talking resolutions. I'm talking goal-setting.  Be realistic and challenge yourself.  Take yourself out of your comfort zone.  Share them with others.  All of you have been such a tremendous source of support for me, and I want to return the favor. 
We can make 2014 the best year ever for all of us.  The Dog Days are Over.  Keep Calm.  Move On!